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letter to my staff, or any one who'll listen
http://unclenedsfishfactory.com/BulletinBoard/viewtopic.php?t=1007
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Author:  Admin [ Sun Oct 09, 2005 1:18 am ]
Post subject:  letter to my staff, or any one who'll listen

letter to my staff, or any one who'll listen...

Please don't put the traded-in Domino Damsel
in the same tiny tank with the
totally wimpy Green mandarin dragonet...

Please...

the reason that we don't stock domino damsels
is that they are totally incompatible viscious beasts...

the reason we now possess a Domino is that
one our customers bought one
SOMEWHERE ELSE and sadly found out
they are totally incompatible viscious beasts....
what Dominos go best with: NO OTHER MARINE ANIMALS
what green mandarin dragonets go best with: NO DOMINOS.

Thank you.
Ned
[install here: emoticon: nedhittingheadagainstwall :arrow: :( ]

Author:  Jane In Upton [ Tue Oct 25, 2005 6:15 pm ]
Post subject: 

Ah....... well, at least you're not alone in your plea to staff.

Last evening I was down in RI and stopped to Rumford Pets on the way home (Seekonk or Swansea area).

I pointed out that there was one lone Cherry Red Shrimp, clinging for dear life to the topside of a plant leaf, while the Blue and Gold Rams, Kribs and some other dwarf but cichlid types bustled through the tank below it. It brought to mind a shipwreck survivor on a raft surrounded by sharks.

"Huh?" was the salesperson's reply. I showed him, (and asked to buy the Cherry Red before it was eaten) and a look of disgust crossed his face. A teenage salesperson came by. "What's up?" he innocently asked.

"We just got those Cherry Reds in yesterday. And ****** [name and the explicative that proceeded it omitted] put them in the planted tank with the Cichlids! What the **** [more words omitted]!!"

So, Ned, at least you know you've got company.
-J.

Author:  UncleHerpie [ Sat Oct 29, 2005 11:14 pm ]
Post subject: 

Today's Subject:

Hampsters in the Home Aquarium...Are they Reef Safe?!


An unknown fact that may surprise you. No, they are not reef safe. In fact, the pair that I put in my reef almost seemed to...I dunno... drown in the water... I'm guessing that their gills weren't fully developed or something. I'm gonna try and raise the salinity to Dead Sea levels and see if that helps with their buoyancy. On another note, their constant urination and defacation seemed to really mess with my water chemistry...the ammonia was off the chart!! Most of my corals are dead and there is a ton of fur clogging up my filter intake. The yellow -tailed Blue Damsels have made a home of the excercise wheel for now, I expect that to change when I add another pair...unless you think I should try gerbils instead...I await your input!

p.s. hampstechromis rodenteri?

Author:  Admin [ Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:42 pm ]
Post subject:  reef Rodentia

Yes, my Uncle Herpie,
alas you have been fooled...
the "reef - safe" hampsters you bought
are a strictly brackish rodent.
Although often sold to the marine aquarium hobby,
they can stand (at best) a salinity of 1.012,
whereas most reef inhabitants prefer salinities of about 1.024.

If you are determined to keep mammals in your saltwater aquarium,
I suggest the rare Fishrabbit.
We've all heard of the common Rabbitfish (genus 'Lo' or 'Foxface')...
but imagine....A FISHRABBIT!
Endemc to only tropical Antarctica, this new species is not available yet to my regular distributors...
however one of my customers recently got a pair on Aquabid
for $3.11 (UPS overnight shipping from McMurdo to Indian Orchard
was $23,479.92).
Apparently, they eat only Frankenberry cereal, which can be difficult to obtain. There's a good recipe for making your own Frankenberry cereal at home in today's Parade magazine.

Author:  Admin [ Sun Oct 30, 2005 9:51 pm ]
Post subject: 

..AND they don't shed!

Author:  UncleHerpie [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:15 am ]
Post subject: 

Whoa Whoa Whoa!! So, you're telling me that the fine folks over at Hampsterquariums U.S.A. sold me said hampsters under false pretenses?! This is an outrage! I can't stand idly by and watch poor, defenseless hampsters be subject to the obvious cruelty and disregard of the stores that sell them. I suppose it's my fault for asking the opinion of anyone named Jeb...I mean WHO USES THAT NAME ANYMORE?! I digress...It is clear to me now that these hampsters, these BRACKISH hampsters, as beautiful and unique as they are...simply aren't suited for even the experienced aquamammalist such as myself. From now on, I shall endeavor to save these rodents from the perils that surely await them.

I did some more research... Apparantly, these creatures have a very short lifespan that I was unaware of. You see, being rodents...their teeth will continue to grow unless they chew on things...up until I read the last post, I just assumed that it would be the live rock. Not the case. They seem to enjoy chewing on wood...I've seen them in the pet stores. Now I would think that this "driftwood" is clearly too soft to serve any real purpose in that regard.

As for the Fishrabbit, I've come to find out that while it is INDEED the Frankenberry cereal that sustains them, it tends to get soggy rather quickly... Also, while the bowl itself, when submersed in the tank will keep it's physical characteristics, the milk will mix with the salt water. So be sure to add a heaping teaspoon of Kalkwasser mix to every bowl. Here's why:

When a Calcium Hydroxide solution (Kalkwasser) is slowly dripped into your aquarium, it captures free Carbon Dioxide present in the tank water and converts it to Bicarbonate ions that will enhance the milk's flavor(which is a good thing), like this:

Ca++ + 2(OH-) + 2(CO2) <==> Ca++(milk) + 2(HCO3-)

If you drip too fast or if there is not enough Carbon Dioxide available in the water, your shiny new Bicarbonate ions will be converted to Carbonate ions and sour the milk exponentially(a bad thing), like this:

Ca++ + 2(OH-) + 2(HCO3- + milkfat) <==> Ca++(sour milk) + 2(CO3--) + 2 H2O

This can lead to intestinal problems. For instance:
Gallstones are solid accumulations of the components of bile, particularly cholesterol, bile pigments, and calcium. These solids may occur when the components of bile are not in the correct proportion to each other. If the bile becomes overly concentrated, or if too much of one component is present, stones may form. Strangely enough, these are the very stones that can be purchased at your local fish store. They are most often sold as "River Stones"...talk about false advertising!

I hope this clears up any confusion on the matter. :?

Author:  UncleHerpie [ Mon Oct 31, 2005 3:29 am ]
Post subject: 

...and I don't read Parade magazine...






those radical separatist bastards!

Author:  Admin [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:48 am ]
Post subject:  more GREAT species!

GREAT NEWS!
more NEW species strictly for
experienced aquamammalists...

we've all heard of Squirrelfish...
but now...newly captive bred...
Fishsquirrels !!!

Only $89.95 per pair
(we're accepting pre-order deposits now...Diner's Club cards only)

These charming reef denizens
not only consume un-eaten food in the aquarium...
(cutting down on unwanted algae)
they can also consume an entire bird-feeder's worth
of
as-yet-uneaten-by-wild-songbirds
sunflower seeds
&
as-per-government-order-sterilized
marijuana seeds...

this all great news for you REEFERS! :wink:

only downside to a tank-full
of Fishsquirrels
...they breed like Fishrabbits!!!

Author:  Admin [ Wed Nov 02, 2005 12:54 am ]
Post subject: 

...and they only shed A LITTLE !

Author:  UncleHerpie [ Fri Nov 04, 2005 1:18 am ]
Post subject: 

I'm not too keen on the fishsquirrells...I like the smaller and zippy fishmonks. The only downside is that they store all their food inside your overflow...which obviously can lead to nitrate build-up.

Other species I might look into:

Fishphers
finea pigs
Prairiefish
Fieldfish


If you can secure any of these species, I'd definately be interested...shipping cost are NOT an issue!

Author:  synodontist [ Wed Nov 09, 2005 3:22 pm ]
Post subject:  Aquatic Panda's

Aqua-pandas are the new rage, just make sure the tank is big enough. Here is a picture of Chicago's Shedd Aquarium being the first!!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/42372

Author:  fabio [ Sun Jan 22, 2006 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  furryfish

you guys should try the african hedgehogfish! a bit hard to handle but i bet ned will appriciate the fact tahat it does not shed!

Author:  redpaulhus [ Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:18 pm ]
Post subject: 

My fave is my ferretfish (also known as reef weasels) but they are such incredible escape artists ... covers and canopies aren't enough, you need to put a screen top over the tank as well, with a combination lock (and not 12345 like my luggage).

Author:  the real mc. koi [ Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

the african hedgehog fish is absolutely a must try!
Suinum Spinosissimus, is closely related to the mud skipper,
it is a topwater fish living near the edges of rivers, very territorial
as the name suggests it hogs the hedge of the banks all for himself.
i had to make some changes in and out of the tank as it's scales are rather hard and pointy, and ruined the impellers of the filter pump, solution? carbide tipped impellers!!!
however it died on me a week ago when my dad came to visit and brought his english setter with him.
the dog went right after it with damaging results to the dog and the poor fish and a big wet mess in my livingroom floor.
i'm triyng the water panda next. :)

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